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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26402893">I Know It’s Gonna Crash Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid'>LLReid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bloodbound (Visual Novels)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon LGBTQ Character, Chronic Illness, F/F, Human/Vampire Relationship, I wrote this in an hour lol, Implied Sexual Content, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Light Angst, REQUEST!!, Sexual Tension, Vampires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:20:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26402893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by; How It All Works Out by Faouzia {stripped version}</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>“Do you have a point?,” she asked, squirming in the passenger seat. “She is a mortal... and one with a weak heart. Even if I did like her like that, there could be no real future there unless she Turned... and I would not wish the life of a vampire upon anybody, let alone someone I— Any happiness I could potentially have with her would be little more than an illusion.”</p><p>“It is better to be truly happy for a short while than to be miserable for all of your days. Happiness is not always where you think. Fear can make you run from it. You must look deep to see what you really want, Kamilah.”</p><p>“What if I don’t know what it is that I want?”</p><p>“You’re the smartest person I know, so stop that. You and I both know you’ve known what you wanted since the moment you first saw her. There’s no point in hiding from the truth anymore, no reason to lie.” He sighed. “I grieve my darling Eleanor everyday but I wouldn’t trade a single moment of the life we had together for anything. Happiness is always worth it.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Sayeed, Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Swann, Kamilah Sayeed/Main Character (Bloodbound)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Know It’s Gonna Crash Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>PROMPT: can you maybe write an angst w fluff ending type of one shot in context w any incident that occurred in the first book</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I must admit that I’m impressed,” Kamilah said to Adrian as she glanced over her shoulder at the mortal woman she was falling for. Anastasia was curled up asleep on the backseat of Adrian’s fancy sports car, exhausted from orchestrating their night of daring rescues and vampire drama. “Years of playing the good girl, and she’s managed to fuck that reputation all up in a matter of hours. Who knew that a mortal would be the one to foster relationships between The Clanless and The Council?”</p><p>Adrian quickly took his eyes off the winding country roads he was speeding through to look back at the girl and then glance at Kamilah. Even though he, himself, had began developing feelings for the pretty redhead, he knew that Kamilah and Anastasia had the sort of connection that only struck a person once in a lifetime — even if neither of them were ready to admit it. God, Kamilah was so gentle with her. Something in her ancient heart had changed. She looked at Anastasia as if she was her definition of perfection. Her queen. She wanted her... and that was all that mattered.</p><p>He cleared his throat and replied, “I did tell you she was different than the other mortals.”</p><p>“Are we certain she is fine?,” Kamilah prodded, her eyes never leaving the woman in the backseat. If anyone had to ask her, she’d deny that she was monitoring her every breath and heartbeat. She’d deny that the subtle heart murmur she could hear frightened her whenever the girl’s heart rate increased — that she was genuinely concerned she had a bad heart at the age of twenty-two. She’d deny that she was actually worried for her wellbeing, more than she could recall ever worrying about anyone. “Mortals are... fragile. Very fragile. And with her heart— You did check her for injuries after launching yourself out of that window with her in your arms—“</p><p>“Kamilah—“</p><p>“I don’t know what you were thinking, doing something so dangerous with a mortal in your arms—“</p><p>“She’s fine, Kamilah,” he soothed, reaching out to rest a gentle hand on her shoulder.</p><p>Kamilah froze at the contact and cleared her throat before turning around, averting her eyes out the front window. Why the hell did she care this much? How the hell was it even possible to care this much about someone she’d known for a month? This mortal was a little mouse in a den of snakes, silent and tormented in a cage. However, no matter how small and vulnerable a mouse was, they had the power to wreak havoc if they accepted who they truly were and what they were capable of. Anastasia Swann had upended one of the most affluent vampire societies in the world in only four weeks, a mere mortal cementing her place amongst the undead. She was... unlike anyone Kamilah had ever known.</p><p>“You care deeply for her, don’t you?,” Adrian asked quietly.</p><p>Kamilah scoffed. “Brother, do not be absurd—“</p><p>“You covered her with your blazer because she looked cold and you look at her like—“</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Like she has reminded you how the sunlight feels against your skin.” He sighed. “I have known you for almost three hundred years and I have never seen you like this before. You smile whenever someone says her name. She makes you laugh—“</p><p>“Do you have a point?,” she asked, squirming in the passenger seat. “She is a mortal... and one with a weak heart. Even if I did like her like that, there could be no real future there unless she Turned... and I would not wish the life of a vampire upon anybody, let alone someone I— Any happiness I could potentially have with her would be little more than an illusion.”</p><p>“It is better to be truly happy for a short while than to be miserable for all of your days,” Adrian said softly. “Happiness is not always where you think. Fear can make you run from it. You must look deep to see what you really want, Kamilah.”</p><p>“What if I don’t know what it is that I want?”</p><p>“You’re the smartest person I know, so stop that. You and I both know you’ve known what you wanted since the first moment you saw her. There’s no point in hiding from the truth anymore, no reason to lie.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I grieve my darling Eleanor everyday but I wouldn’t trade a single moment of the life we had together for anything. Happiness is always worth it.”</p><p>“Is it really?,” she whispered. Happiness. She couldn’t even remember what that felt like. Hope like that was a dangerous thing, she thought. Once kindled, it was hard to put out. It made wise people like her into lovestruck fools.</p><p>“You’re good for her, and she’s good for you. Don’t mess that up for yourself.”</p><p>“I don’t see how wanting her alive and well enough to live a full life is going to mess anything up.”</p><p>“Of course you don’t. But that’s because you’re stupid and have the emotional depth of a teaspoon.”</p><p>She let out a soft growl and reached across the centre console to gently punch his arm. “I’m smarter than you are.”</p><p>“Don’t stop living while you endure. And don’t let the pain of your past stop you from being happy in this new life,” Adrian said. “She’s here with you now and that is what matters. Don’t miss out on something great because you fear the ending, a thing does not have to last forever for it to be worth your while.”</p><p>“You’re way too much of a romantic for these times. You should’ve been born six hundred years ago if you want a woman who has a body count that would shame the most prolific serial killers to make a women who has never harmed a soul swoon.”</p><p>“Oh for goodness sake,” Adrian sighed. “Enough of this. This is like talking to a brick wall, so I will be blunt with you. She likes you, too.”</p><p>“I—“</p><p>“Don’t even bother.” He let out a soft laugh. “Just make the most of this whilst you have it. Even if Anastasia never Turns, you’ll go on and regret not loving her for as long as you draw breath. Love her whilst she’s here.”</p><p>Kamilah nodded and the car fell silent, the only sounds the quiet classical music and the sound of nocturnal beasts roaming through the Upstate greenery on the other side of the windows. Adrian eyed her meaningfully for a moment, and she couldn’t help but see it for what it was — brotherly concern for her. She liked that he did that, even if it was annoying at the same time. She had the feeling it was the way men were supposed to behave, and it made her feel strangely warm inside. </p><p>She knew that if she were mortal, she’d already have made Anastasia hers. She’d hold this woman every night as they went to sleep. Every morning, she’d wake up and make love to her. And they’d both grow old together in each other’s arms. It would be so simple, if they were both mortal. But Kamilah had been a vampire for so long she couldn’t remember what being mortal was like. All she really knew was this. She just was. She just existed. No before. No beyond. A rowboat anchored in the middle of an ever changing sea — just floating, stuck. </p><p>Why would she indulge in being happy, only to risk having all of that snatched away in the blink of an eye? Mortals were so, so fragile. The slightest thing could kill them — and even if they miraculously made it to old age, they’d lose their minds and then die after only a handful of decades. Why would she put herself in a position to have to lose someone she cared for? Every time in life she thought she’d lost everything, she always found there was still something else to lose... and she was damn sick of it.</p><p>She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window, zoning in on the sound of the mortal’s steady beating heart. Despite always seeming to beat faster than most mortals and the rasping murmur, her heartbeat was oddly soothing. Beautiful, unique as it was. She listened with her entire aching body, not just her ears. Watched her with her entire being, not just her eyes. And judged her with her entire soul, not just shallow perception. </p><p>“Are we there yet?,” a groggy voice murmured from the backseat.</p><p>“Pretty much. All of this is my land,” Adrian chuckled. “Have you ever explored Upstate before, Anastasia?”</p><p>“The first time I really left the city in a while was when we went to Marcel’s party,” the mortal yawned. “The only place in America I’ve really been since moving here is Manhattan— and Orlando when Lily forced me to go to Disneyworld with her.”</p><p>“How was that?,” snorted Adrian.</p><p>“Terrifying.”</p><p>“Smart girl,” Kamilah smirked. “You’re not exactly missing out on much. New York is the only city in this country that matters as far as I’m concerned, everywhere else may as well be Oklahoma.”</p><p>“Maybe... but I still wanna see everything. It’s so different from back home.”</p><p>Kamilah’s heart thundered as she glanced over her shoulder, only to find the mortal with her face practically pressed against the window — and she had to resist the urge to dive into the backseat and fasten her in place with every seatbelt, just to be absolutely certain she couldn’t get hurt. For a moment she just watched her, her blue eyes wide in awe even though there wasn’t much to see besides trees as the car drew to a halt.</p><p>“We’ll have to go the rest of the way on foot,” Adrian explained. “My cabin is at the top of a hill a short hike away—“</p><p>“You couldn’t have at least informed me that my Louboutins were an inappropriate choice of attire?,” Kamilah grumbled. Being outdoors in the middle of Bum-fuck New York was bad enough as it was, but now she was expected to hike a bloody mountain in a brand new pair of stilettos?! Adrian was just begging to be stabbed. “I know we had to flee the city but these are brand new shoes and I am wearing Versace couture!”</p><p>“As if you would’ve listened to me if I told you to change— and I’m not actually that brave.”</p><p>She opened her mouth to retort but her anger quickly faded away when she saw how eager Anastasia looked, despite the fact she was also wearing a pair of heels. So she divorced her mind from the wrongness of it all and let herself simply feel in the present moment. If a mortal who’d been hurled out of a MidTown Skyscraper window only hours before didn’t mind hiking through the woods, then how bad could it really be?</p><p>Adrian walked a little ahead of them to lead the way — and to avoid Kamilah’s mumbled swears as she tried to make the most of the rustic experience. A sudden gust made the branches of the trees shiver, raining down a few bright green leaves that made her cringe when they touched her skin — and only intensified her worry that Anastasia would accidentally touch a poisonous plant and wind up getting sick. A fly buzzed in the grass near her ankles, making her think suddenly of the bodies deep below the ground, of the way flies would be landing on them, of the opalescent maggots that would hatch and tunnel, multiplying endlessly, spreading like an infection, until black flies covered the room in a shifting carpet. Until all anyone could hear was the whirring of their glassy wings.</p><p>“I’m in hell,” she hissed to Anastasia as the two of them stood at the bottom of the mountain Adrian had — for some ungodly reason — decided to build his cabin on. She’d seen castles built on smaller hills. “This is how I die.”</p><p>“At least you’re wearing nice shoes,” the mortal laughed as she looped her arm through hers and started hauling her up the hill.</p><p>Kamilah groaned and tried to steady herself, but her heels were such a bad choice of shoes for this that she had to cling to Anastasia in order to avoid falling. This was exactly why she rarely left Manhattan. This wild, wild, west shit was not her cup of tea.</p><p>“Are you— your heart sounds strange,” Kamilah said frantically. “You’re having palpitations—“</p><p>“It’s fine,” the mortal soothed. “It just does this whenever I walk up hills and stuff. This is why I don’t work out. It’s nothing to worry about.”</p><p>Without a word of warning Kamilah gently shoved the girl against a tree. “Let us rest for a moment—“</p><p>“I don’t need to—“</p><p>“I do,” she lied, knowing full well Anastasia was stubborn enough that she would probably sooner have suffered a heart attack than admit she needed to take it slow. If her mortal wasn’t going to take care of herself, then she had to be the one to do it. “My feet hurt.” She sighed. “Perhaps a five minute rest will be beneficial.”</p><p>The redhead nodded and Kamilah pressed her lips to the mortal’s. She kissed her like she wanted to so many times before, but had always stopped herself from. She kissed her with everything that she was and hoped to be, and then pressed her brow against hers. She already knew she wanted to keep her, despite having never done more than kissing her. The tightness in her belly, the pulsing between her legs, she shouldn’t feel excitement given the state they were in, shouldn’t feel warmth pooling between her legs, but that was her — the fucked up woman who got off when she shouldn’t.</p><p>Her guts and the thing between her legs wanted her — and they wanted her badly — but her brain was fighting back. And it was a toss-up as to which part was in control. But if she could just have this, this pretend fairytale night with her over and over again, then she would do whatever she wanted. She’d live. She could only hope the trade would be worth it in the end.</p><p>“You should kiss me like that more often,” Anastasia breathed.</p><p>Their breaths mingled as Kamilah gently brushed her lower lip with the pad of her thumb, both of their chests heaving. “I’ve been able to restrain myself up till now,” she whispered, “but every second with you, it gets harder and harder.”</p><p>“You don’t have to restrain yourself with me.”</p><p>“Yes, I do. I’d devour you otherwise.”</p><p>Anastasia made a soft tutting sound and cupped her face in her palms, drawing her into another kiss. She kissed her like she’d always wanted to be kissed. With her entire soul. And Kamilah felt herself come alive as their lips tumbled over each other’s, and she was afraid of that. Afraid to unleash that other side of herself. But because of Anastasia she could feel it. If she touched the girl right now she’d probably find she was just as wet for her as Kamilah felt. And even though this was crazy, all she wanted to do was drive deep inside her — she wanted to worship her in her own way. She wanted to adore her by touching her, kissing her, biting her, fucking her. She didn’t just want to take her. She wanted to give herself to her. She wanted to watch her touch soften her eyes, hear it in her breathy exhales, and feel it shudder over her body as she arched against her.</p><p>Anastasia moaned as Kamilah left the realm of sanity and poured every apology, every regret, she had into her mouth and down her throat and into her fucking heart. She wanted her to know that she owned her already. She needed her to know she’d already helped her — more than she knew. More than anyone ever had.</p><p>“You don’t know what you do to me,” Kamilah panted, genuinely driven breathless by her kiss. She’d always seemed to crave this sort of closeness, even if it did scare her. “I want you in ways that aren’t right. By the time I’m done with you, you’d beg to be mine, and that’s a bad idea.”</p><p>Anastasia smirked and fire sparked in her eyes. “But what if I’m also the type of woman who’d beg for things that would terrify most people?”</p><p>Kamilah’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. “You’d prove that you can handle me, the way I am, and that you’re not scared of me? I don’t want you scared of me, Anastasia. But I can’t change how I am or what I’ve done. I don’t want to have to worry every two seconds that you’re going to get scared and run.”</p><p>“I’m not running,” Anastasia murmured, her lips brushing against Kamilah’s with every word. “I want to be yours, I’m not letting you go. I’ve only just found you,” she said without hesitation, as if she wanted to be her everything, as if the idea of her being done with her tortured her. What they shared was pure obsession and it was the sweetest madness in hell. “You’re not going to break me. I’m not as innocent as you think.”</p><p>“Aren’t you?,” she whispered, a burning tenderness glowing in her brown eyes. They both needed to bruise and ride and claim. This wasn’t about sweetness and building trust — it was already somehow much deeper than that. Something invisible that joined them more holy than marriage or a lifetime of togetherness.</p><p>“No. I’m not,” Anastasia breathed. Her voice was an offering from the Gods and a temptation from hell, a tone so potent it could corrupt a vampire of Kamilah’s age, or save her. “It’s not like I was a nun before I met you.”</p><p>Her jaw dropped a little as she studied Anastasia and saw that she radiated sincerity and strength, and her perfection seemed to riddle and ridicule her. It had been that strength that made her want her so badly in the first place, even if she wanted her to surrender it to her in the end. In four weeks she had already come to the conclusion that this woman was everything she wanted. Everything she needed. Everything she never thought she’d deserve.</p><p>Whatever previous kisses she’d bestowed over her long life were somehow no longer relevant in her mind. Whatever touch or activity she’d partaken in didn’t matter. This woman’s kiss was everything. It was truth. It was honesty. It was terrifying. She kissed her with nothing barred. Kamilah dropped her disguise, letting her taste what she’d never say. She was violence as well as tenderness. She was obsession as well as rationality.</p><p>It might’ve taken 2,063 years but she’d finally found what she’d always wanted. Happiness. A way to put together the pieces of her shattered life. To try to become whole again. And as scared as she was, she was glad to be moving on, moving away from the woman she no longer knew and hadn’t known since the moment her mortal life had drawn to a close, and towards the one she wanted to become.</p><p> </p><p>~ fin.</p>
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